Friday, January 12, 2007

acceptable things to say

(lori, john and me with my baby bump)
before we get to the meat of the post, please stop by the following site:
its a coupon for buy one get one free sundaes at baskin robbins. mmmmm, my favorite.
you're welcome!
for all of you people who will ever interact with a pregnant woman, let this be a lesson on things that are NOT acceptable to say, and things are ARE acceptable to say.
1. Wow, you only have 4 more weeks left, you still look so tiny.
2. You have a cute little baby bump.
3. You are absolutely glowing/radiant/beautiful (etc.) today.
4. You are the cutest pregnant lady ever!
5. When I am preganant I hope I look as good as you look.
any variation of any of the above sentances.
1. Wow, you're HUGE!
2. Are you sure you're not having twins.
3. You look like you're ready to pop any day now.
4. You still have 4 more weeks left, how can you get any bigger?
5. You are going to go into labor early, because that baby has to be about 10 pounds.
any variation of any of the above sentances.
yes people, i know i'm not having twins, there is this crazy contraption called a "sonogram" which shows a picture of the baby, if there were 2 we would have SEEN them.
no, i'm not "ready to pop". i still have 4 more weeks left, okay?
how would you like it if i pointed out how "huge" your nose is, or your double chin, or those nasty ankles? i'm pretty sure you already know you have a "huge" ____ and you don't need to be reminded. yes, i know that i'm pregnant and i have a bigger belly than usual, but i beg to differ and it is in NO WAY "huge!" so leave it alone, okay? (seriously is my bump *that* big?)
woman who are pregnant are already in a fragile state, please remember this and only say COMPLIMENTARY things, or don't say anything at all. i don't care how big/small you were when you were pregnant. i don't care how big/small i am compared to your friend/daughter/sister/mother. i don't care. and NO, you may not rub the tummy. okay? deal with it.
okay if you feel like reading something funny instead of a rant, head on over to scott adams' blog, although he does use the synonym for "donkey" like in every sentance. but it's histerical nonetheless.


Nicola said...

Hemi - Wow, you only have 4 more weeks left, you still look so tiny. You're pregnant? But, you're so little! You have the cutest little baby bump. And I just must tell you, that you are absolutely glowing and radiant and beautiful and luminous and effervescent and bright and gorgeous and floating and i must say it's absolutely unfair to any other pregnant (or have been pregnant) women that you should be such a beautiful pregnant woman. You are the cutest pregnant lady ever! When I was preganant I wish that I had looked as good as you look. Ah if only wishing could make it so.
I want to do a photo shoot with you and bump and Robby - before bump arrives to yell at the world, 'kay?

Nicola said...

hannahjs wriTES -


tHank YOu for alL THe T Hings that i love.
unCLe RoBBY and YoU Need TO COMe to PlAY wITH me ANd WiTH ADam.
i MISs yOU.