still no baby

well, we tried to induce me into labor wednesday night.

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we were supposed to check in at the hospital at 6. we were running a little late and just as we were getting ready to head out the door, my cell phone rang. it was the hospital and they were crazy busy and didn't have a bed for me, and they told me to call back at 8 and see how things were. so we sat around and waited and called at 8, the nurse then told me they were STILL crazy busy and to call back at 10. so i called at 10 and they said things had finally died down and to come on in. so we packed up all of our stuff and headed over.

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we were checked in and everything by 10:30 pm. they started me on "cervadil" (spelling?) at about 11:30 pm, which i was on for 12 hours. we tried to get some rest for the long day of having the baby the next day.

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after a long night of not getting much sleep they then started the "pitocin" around noon. pitocin is what really get the contractions going (if the cervadil didn't) and is supposed to get the baby out. well they kept upping the dosage every half hour and i was having contractions about every 2 minutes. but they never really started hurting. they were uncomfortable, but no real pain. at 6 pm they checked me to see how far along i was, i was still only dilated to 1 cm. (you have to be 10 cm to push the baby out, so basically i wasn't anywhere).

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i was on the maximum amount of pitocin and they wouldn't be able to give me anymore. so i had two choices. they could break my water which *could* bring on labor, but if it didn't then we would HAVE to do a c-section. or i could go home and just let nature take its course.

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we decided to stop the pitocin and go home. i didn't want to force what wasn't happening. and i definately didn't want it to come to a c-section. i wanted to hold my son in my arms, but not at the risk of pushing myself to a c-section. so we came home.

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leaving the hospital after all of that without a baby was really hard.

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getting in my car this morning and seeing the car seat was REALLY hard.

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so, still no baby. the waiting continues.