i don't understand how when you are pregnant people lose all sense of decency and boundries. while it is unacceptable in society to pat a bald man on his head or rub a fat woman's stomach, apparently it is acceptable to touch a pregnant woman's stomach with no question, and not have to ask first.
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the first time that i witnessed this phenomena i was with my preganant sister, and it happened to her. i was mortified, and vowed that when i was pregnant i would not let that happen, and joked that if any woman rubbed my belly i would grab her boob. yes people you read that right. if you feel me up, i will feel you up. if you ask first i might be more complant. it's especially crazy when you aren't even "showing" yet. yes people, why do you feel the need to rub my fat? you are not in contact with the growing child hidden behind said fat.
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and yes i have already grabbed someone's boob, full on grabbage. i was not ashamed, she felt me up, so i felt her up. i seriously do not see the difference. i usually warn people first, "next time you touch my stomach i WILL grab your boob, so ask first, please" but this time, i went straight for the boob, and i think it got the word across.
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a body is a body, boundaries ALWAYS apply. regardless of whether you are preganant or not. it's a violation of personal space.
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so please, do not rub my belly, don't even think about it (at least not until i'm showing) and then ask first, and if the thing decides to start kicking me i might even invite you to feel, but until then ... look but don't touch.
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on a related note, when i start getting really fat please do not ask me, "are you sure you're not having twins?" yes, i'm sure -- thank you for calling me fat.
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pregnancy update, all of the answers to all of the questions that you want to ask:
yes, we're very excited.
i'm due february 7th.
no, i don't know what we're having. ask me again in a month.
i don't care whether it is a boy or a girl, it's not like i have a say in the matter anyways.
i'm feeling fine, seriously almost no morning sickness, except when i have a headache.
seriously, please, no touchy!
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5 comments:
AMEN to that. I, too, am very sensitive about stuff like that. My good friend up the street was no, however. She had no qualms about lifting up her shirt and showing her growing belly, not to mention her stretch marks. Gee. Thanks, but no thanks!
I know just what you're saying, we have a secretary at work who I cannot talk to without her touching my arm during points she wants to emphasize.
Just like you I said, "The next time she grabs my arm, I'm going to grab her boob!"
I must admit, it didn't work as well as planned. I ended up with five staples to the side of my face, a night in jail, and a new career. . . . . . . actually, I made this whole thing up, but it seemed like a good story.
Congrats on the pregnancy. It blows my mind how people are all touchy feely with pregnant women. I think your solution is a good one and it cracks me up.
The weird thing is, after I had a baby, I felt this compelling desire to touch other people's pregnant bellies. I don't do it for obvious reasons but my hand is pulled magnetically towards them and I sometimes have to slap it down. I don't know if it's a jealousy thing, wishing I were pregnant or just a tenderness, remembering the feel of a baby growing inside me.
Just checking in to see how you're doing. I guess folks are still touching after all this time. Hint: I'm anxiously awaiting some updates. :-)
Hah ha, you just made me laugh out loud. Yes, I'm going back and reading your previous blogs (I don't get on the internet much, but dang this makes me want to). My husband and I are hoping to have a baby this year, so it was fun to hear about your unorthodox way of maintaining boundaries. Totally agree though - haven't had a baby yet, but I think I can see how that would happen. and happen again... and again... and again...
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